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    1/52 A weekly portrait of my children.

    Thurman, age 22 months: the cheesiest smile and obsessing over his brother.
    Ronin, age 6: gummy mouth and growing up way too fast.

    All the new new.

    New week. New month. New year. New chances. All the new feels for 2018, and I can’t help but admit that I am both extremely excited and nervous about this year. I have all these new ideas and goals that I hope (I will) to implement this year.

    If you’re a regular, I’m sure you’ve noticed that I’m starting from “scratch”… again. I debated on this decision for awhile – on whether I’d begin a brand new or if I would just pick up from where I left off. The other choice obviously won. But, I have my reasons…

    I just needed to wipe my slate completely clean. I needed to rid of 2017. Yes, there were a ton of magical moments that I have stored away in my memory bank and saved in a folder on my desktop but, there were dark ones that I just kind of wanted to “forget” about and leave in 2017. Okay, I won’t forget – there were valuable lessons that I learned about others but most importantly… about myself. Whether I like it or not, I needed 2017 to happen for the betterment of myself on a very personal level. Yes, shitty things happen; I did and said some pretty petty and out of character things.

    2017 was like opening a Pandora’s box; all the emotions, hidden trauma I left alone for years and mirrors reflecting things that I wasn’t too fond of witnessing or was trying to shove away.

    Anyways… I debated on whether I wanted to do resolutions, words, or goals for 2018. I didn’t want to overwhelm myself with too much stuff or feel “obligated” to do the things I may have written down. I feel like I always tend to let myself down if I don’t achieve a particular New Years resolution or goal by the next year. I didn’t want this year to be that way. I knew I wanted to focus on the positive.

    So here we are… the part where I share some of my resolutions, goals, and words to live by in 2018.

    Resolutions:
    1. Smile more – if you know me, you know how much I hate my teeth/smile. I want to change that. I want to fall in love with my smile.
    2. Workout consistently – not because I want to lose weight but because I want to be a healthier version of myself. I want to be more active.
    3. Take more videos – because I regret not taking enough videos of our life the past two years that Thurman was born (or in general).
    4. More shoots – whether it be for fun or a project; I want to do more photoshoots.
    5. Practice yoga – more like, be more consistent with my practice.
    6. Blogging – be more CONSISTENT.
    7. Practice self-care more – just that, practice self-care and don’t feel guilty about it.
    8. Try new things – go outside of my comfort zone.
    9. DIY – do all those projects you’ve been saying you’re going to do.
    10. Support women/local – again, just that, support support support.

    Goals:
    1. Start on my documentary – get the funds and dive into it.
    2. Therapy – start seeing a trauma therapist.
    3. Furnish our home – have (most) of our house furnished by May.
    4. Call more vs. texting – we live in a time where we just text, and I want different for myself and my family/friends. So, they’ll be hearing from me more vs. reading a text from me.
    5. Read more – I’m doing the book challenge on GoodReads (50 books in 2018).
    6. Write more – send letters and cards to family/friends. Work on my bullet journal.
    7. Travel – big or small.
    8. Self-improvement – work on being a better wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend… person.
    9. Fall in love more – with my husband, with my kids, with me, with life.

    Words to live by in 2018:
    1. Gratitude
    2. Intention
    3. Patience
    4. Healing
    5. Grace
    6. Improvement

    I know that this was a mouthful to read or whatever, but it is what it is. This year is my change, my story. I’m excited about this new year. I am not blind that there will be some hardship and setbacks, but I know it will all be for growth.

    My biggest goal; being present and genuinely grateful.