“I take off any masks knowing that the first step in being my true self is to be naked.
I dig deep to find the courage to allow myself to shine in my unique soul purpose knowing that doing so is not only for my good but also helps others.
I use courage as the fuel in the journey of becoming the next version of my true self.
I embrace self-actualization as an ongoing process knowing this is a journey, not a destination.”
First and foremost, hi friends. I hope that everyone is having a fab week… I know I am. I mean, my emotions are a complete mess, and I have totally been in my feelings lately, but other than that, it’s been good.
So I mainly wanted to check in with you guys since it has been about a week or so (I also missed out on two weeks of the 52-week project *facepalm*) since I’ve been on here. A lot is going on in my crazy basic life, and I have some pretty cool fun stuff to share with you guys in February.
One of the “bigger” cool things on my list to share with you all is… showing you guys what I have been working on the past two weeks; which is our home. If you follow me on Instagram, then you know about my deal with Micah. If you don’t, let me give you the skinny. Basically, he had me choose between going to see Britney Spears in Las Vegas or furnishing our entire home.
As much as it hurt to turn down Britney, I knew I had to make the adult decision and go with furnishing our home. Also, it was just time to start filling up our house.
Anyways, I started picking out furniture about two weeks ago, and things are starting to come in finally. A friend of mine is dating someone who builds incredible furniture; so we ordered a farmhouse table and bench (picking that baby up this Saturday), and I am so anxiously excited to see it. My goal is to have both “formal” living and dining room finished by Thurman’s birthday (February 23rd).
So let’s all sit a silence and cross our fingers that happens.
There’s more stuff I want to share with all of you, but, I will hold off on sharing that part for February.
So I’m sure you noticed that I posted a quote underneath my photo; no it’s not mine, but if you click here then you’ll see who wrote it. Again, if you follow me on the gram then you know 1) I’m a fan of this fantastic woman 2) this is a part of my day to day life. Most of her blog posts shack me up or give me the chills, but this particular post… well, it hit me like a ton of bricks. Right after reading her post, I came across this post and holy shit, again, chills and was smacked in the face with more “see Sybi, you’re not crazy and what you’re feeling and realizing… it’s real as fffff.”
I could go on and on about this, but, I’ll spare you all. I will share this, though… a lot is changing. I feel it. I welcome it. I looked back on the past six months of my life, and it has been shit (then add another six months to that). Now, I’m not saying my whole life has been shitty, but some parts have been dark, messy, and hard.
This morning, I decided to write down some stuff that has happened in the past six months (plus more), and it was like fucking pandora box was opened for me. For a few months now, I have been focusing on blaming others for how certain things turned out vs. concentrating on my crap. I know that 2018 is my year; my year to grow into the person that I know I am, to speak my truth, to be unapologetically myself, to love myself fiercely (the way my husband, family, and closest friends do), to experience new things, make new friends, and grab hold of my dreams.
I am worthy of love, acceptance, change, healing, and forgiveness.
I am courageous and brave. I have something to offer. And I need to believe that. Like my husband said to me when I told him how badly I felt about the past six months, “we all stray from our path, but it doesn’t define us. we are all human, and it’s time for you to forgive yourself.” And that is true. I am my own worst enemy – we all are, right?
So cheers to the first month of 2018 under our belts and experiencing a blue moon, supermoon, and lunar eclipse on that last day of January. So many remarkable, positive changes this year.
Things to be excited about next months:
1) Thurman’s second birthday
2) Finishing up our “formal” living and dining room
3) Ro starts soccer
4) White Buffalo Herd meeting with boss women
7) LOVE MONTH