Hurricane Harvey

    The past few days have been absolutely devastating for Houstonians and our beautiful city. There are so many homes completely flooded, or damaged due to all the tornadoes, and sadly there doesn’t seems to be a light at the end of the tunnel just yet. The rain hasn’t stopped.

    My heart breaks for my city, for the people of Houston, and for all my friends and family – so many of you have lost so much, including loved ones. I know it doesn’t seem like we will make it through, but we will – we are Texas strong. Even though this experience has been incredibly devastating (and continues to be this way), seeing everyone come together is absolutely inspiring.

    Our community has stepped up and showed up to help those in need. Houston, you are strong, gracious, humble, and help when it is needed. I have heard and read so many incredible stories regarding our community during this time of need.

    For my friends who have reached out to me – fortunately, my family and I are safe. We are currently tucked away with my in laws (even though the rain and winds are still crazy over here in Cypress), but our home is in the Meyerland/Bellaire area. As of right now, our home is okay, but we have no way to get home because everything is literally underwater (including the front of our neighborhood).

    As of right now, we don’t think we have water, but there is a BIG chance that we may.

    A lot of you have asked how you can help…if you can’t help in person, please click here. You will be able to find so many links to different organizations. You can also donate to You Caring.

    My heart breaks for the people who are still stranded and waiting to be taken to a dry area. I wish there was something that I could do. I feel so helpless. I’m so eager to help my neighbors and community who need the help. I wish I could wrap my arms around everyone. Our city is so resilient, so strong, and so hopeful. What an inspiring and breathtaking thing to witness.

    Please, please, please keep Texas in your thoughts and prayers (or whatever you believe in). Please ask for safety, comfort, and for Hurricane Harvey to chill out. Please be gracious with the fact that so many of us didn’t evacuate. I know that it is hard for people who aren’t from Houston or the surrounding areas to understand why most stayed put. We remember what it was like to evacuate with Hurricane Rita. It was known that some who had a 2-5 hour drive ended up with a 13-30 hour drive. Cars broke down and so many were stranded on the side of the road. There was a report that 107 people died during the evacuation, and it wasn’t even weather related. Please keep your mouths shut from judging and have some compassion and empathy for us – we are human.

    Lately…

    “Through the blur, I wondered if I was alone or if other parents felt the same way I did – that everything involving our children was painful in some way. The emotions, whether they were joy, sorrow, love or pride, were so deep and sharp that in the end they left you raw, exposed and yes, in pain. The human heart was not designed to beat outside the human body and yet, each child represented just that – a parent’s heart bared, beating forever outside its chest.” -Debra Ginsberg

    Parenting…it’s been real hard this past month, real hard. I honestly don’t even know where to begin. Truthfully, I just feel like my life is in complete shambles right now. Parenting has been so trying and so unbelievably exhausting – EXHAUSTING. I feel like I wake up every morning telling myself, “new day, new attitude,” and just end up failing myself, but most importantly, failing my kiddos.

    Call me crazy, because I know you will, but I’m kind of blaming some of this craziness on Mercury Retrograde. I mean, because we all know how things roll during those weeks (especially for kids). But on a more serious note – I blame this on Thurman getting all of his molars, Ronin getting all of his 6 year old molars, Ronin being in between a little kid and a big kid, and honestly just life. At the end of the day, this is what parenting life is all about – ups and downs, the crazy, the messiness and all the beauty mixed together.

    I absolutely love this journey, but I think we can all agree on the fact that it is HARD.

    I feel like lately I’ve been going crazy – as if my emotions are just all over the place – sad, mad, happy, exhausted, crazy, excited. Life with you, Ronin, has been one of the most beautiful things that has ever happened to your dad and I, but this past month – HOLY SHIT. You have literally tested every single bone in our body. I don’t know what’s going on, honestly. I don’t know if it’s this in between “I’m still a little kid but also leaning towards being a big kid” stage, summer time blues, the lack of sleep you’ve gotten this summer…I don’t know. But, the attitude and the talking back is so foreign to us and we are at a complete loss right now.

    If I’m being totally honest right now, I’m chalking it up to you just having this crazy growth spurt and this is just going to phase out soon. I’m praying, meditating on crystals, whatever crosses my mind – I’m doing it, LITERALLY.

    But you know, we haven’t been the greatest examples for you. Your mama and dad, when they fight, we raise our voices and have an attitude. So, it’s something you’ve learned, through us. It’s a constant back and forth banter with you or with us – that’s not how it should be. We shouldn’t be yelling, raising our voices, having attitudes, and such. That’s not us.

    We are far from perfect, and we are probably going to mess this parent shit up more often than not, but I just hope you remember how much your parents love you and how much we really are trying. I know this past month (maybe even longer if I actually sit and think about it) hasn’t been easy for either of us, but all we can keep doing is resetting our day and keep pushing forward…positively.

    Today is August 21, 2017 – I promise I will do better from here on out. I promise to snatch my patience back because I know I lost it somewhere down this parenting road. I know that things haven’t been easy and that we’ve ALL been on edge, but one thing is FOR SURE – we truly love each others guts and adore one on another. I know that in order for you to change your attitude, patience, listening skills, etc – WE have to lead the way for you and your brother.

    I know that for almost FIVE whole years it was just us three, us three. On top of that, I stayed home with you – all the time. Your life was completely altered whenever your brother came into the picture. I know that you love and adore your brother, but I also know that you’ve been getting a tad bit annoyed with him lately. I mean, the fighting between you is kind of funny but also a little sad/annoying. Shit, I just hope you know I’m trying to balance it all out between you two, because just as much as thiss whole thing is new for you, it is 100000% new for us too.

    Parenting is hard, but it’s such a magical thing to experience – if you want that.

    Any ways, my point for this whole post is this – I know that it hasn’t been easy. Parenting has been so taxing, so exhausting, but it will all level out. I just know it. We are all working on it. We are all all aiming to be better versions of ourselves. I know it will take time AND consistency, but I know that we will find peace within all of us. I know that this is just a phase, and soon enough this chapter will end and we will have all grown so much from all of this.

    Currently

    “There’s chaos in everyone’s heart. Some just grow flowers on it, while others tear it apart.” – Fiphie

    Loving/ I’m loving this Pavlova that I made today. It was the very first time I’ve ever made it, and I actually knocked it out of the park! I know making meringue is kind of hard, but I managed to perfect it. I think I might post a blog post about it. We’ll see.

    Reading/ Again, nothing! What is wrong with me?! I actually have TWO books in my bag so I can read, but I just haven’t picked either of them up. I need to.

    Watching/ Grey’s! I know what you’re thinking!? Does she ever watch anything else? The answer is: I DO! I just have a handful of tv series that just make me feel safe whenever I’m feeling down, or when I just need to. Do you have something like that?! Something you like to watch whenever you just need a *pep* in your step?

    Thinking about/ All the things that I need to prepare for my class next week and all the things that I need to get prepared for Ronin and Thurman. There’s definitely more that I’m thinking about, but all this is school stuff is my main focus right now.

    Surprised by/ How fast life really does move – time moves so freaking fast you guys. Thurman is about to be 18 months on the 23rd and Ronin is starting 1st grade on the 28th! When did all this happen? Now Thurman is showing signs that he may be ready to potty train – what? I literally gave birth to him yesterday!!!!! I’m just so shocked. I’m shocked that I start work again in 2 weeks. Holy wow!

    Making me sad/ Everything that is going on in the world RIGHT NOW. That fact that we are dealing with these roaches – white supremacist and nazi’s. So gross! I mean, is this real life? I’m so over hearing people saying, “it’s getting too political.” I’m sorry…what? This is literally domestic terrorism. I’m so over people.

    Making me happy/ Pavlova, sushi, macarons, my kids, and my husband. The sun that keeps shining and all the love that I have been receiving from my friends. MY BEST FRIEND GETTING ENGAGED over the weekend! I am so freaking happy for them (for her).