I remember sharing my excitement about our future, first family trip together. We had already gone on so many trips with Ro, but we had yet to plan another REAL with you. I also remember the faces and the comments…
“but he’s so little…he won’t even remember.”
“I want to take my kid, but whenever he’s Ronin’s age.”
“I’d rather just go on a trip with xyz, my kids can wait.”
“we waited till our kids were older – wasteful money and they won’t remember.”
Those were just some of the comments that were said to me whenever I shared the fact that Thurman was going to be joining us on our family trip/Ronin’s birthday present.
You guys, I get it. I mean, I remember having those thoughts (but not actually saying them out loud) before kids. It always confused me on why some people would take their infants or toddlers to certain things – like concerts, Disney, etc etc etc.
The “But, they won’t remember” would creep into my thoughts. Sometimes I would just think, “a festival like this would be way too hot.” Which, in reality, I don’t know if I’d WANT to bring a toddler-ish child to a festival. But, hey, if you do that – power to you! Tell me how you make it through, and what you do if you live in a “Satan level weather heat” state.
But, lets be serious – is the fact that they “won’t remember” really a REAL and valid reason not to experience…life, together.
Look, I’m not stupid – I know Thurman won’t remember this trip, ever. But, you know, I will, Micah will, Ronin will, and my mom will. Those memories, those memories are in our memory bank…forever.
Do you think I remember my infancy/toddler visit to Peru?! Pft, no way! But, my mom does and her eyes light the frick up whenever she has shared stories with me about that trip. Also, pictures. I have pictures and getting to look back on them – the smiles, the mid laugh, the clothes, colors, and all…that shit is magical for ME, too. *I should have asked my mom to scan a photo so I could have shared the beauty around that time – ugh*
If I have any true regrets about this trip, it would be the fact that I didn’t just bring our Uppababy stroller with us. This stroller was nice, don’t get me wrong, but it sucked whenever Thurman fell asleep. We managed, though. You always do whenever you’re forced to “figure it out.”
We had ONE major meltdown with Thurman, and that was the VERY LAST day of the trip. He had been in a foreign place for 5+ days, was moving from place to place, and wasn’t really getting the sleep he needed for his little body. It was bound to happen.
I thought I would panic and would be so embarrassed, but *pats self on back* I surprisingly just tuned everyone else out, and sang and walked around with my sweet boy. He fell asleep right before we went on the Ferris wheel. I soaked in every moment of the Ferris wheel ride – you just have to, because kids grow up way too freaking fast (aka: look at Ronin now).
I just also want to say this – I know that not every one has the means to go on big vacations. I know that is a privilege, and understand that more than some you may know. I didn’t grow up going on a bunch of trips. We went to Disneyworld the summer after my dad passed. We didn’t have all the money in the world. My mom was a single mom, but she busted her ass to make sure we got what we wanted and what we need. She also made she that we made memories…together.
Thurman was free ass free. Most places are free if the child is under the age of 3 – free. So really, we only paid for food and souvenirs when it came to him.
I also don’t think you need to just go on family trips 24/7 to make memories, or neglect your marriage. I believe in self care and I believe that you should always nurture your marriage (relationship). Micah and I have neglected that part of our life, and we have given more of our love in travel to our kids vs to ourselves. Now, don’t get it twisted, we are still very much in love – we just haven’t nurtured our marriage when it comes to trips.
Ronin will probably remember the majority of this trip, and he will have memories with his brother. Witnessing the laughs, hugs, and kisses between the two will be moments I will never forget. The will be unforgettable. Those particular memories, this trip, will shape Ronin (and even Thurman).
Micah and I will forever remember this trip – from the moment we boarded the plane (and having to deal with a crying baby pretty much the whole flight there), all the in-between craziness, to the moment we left the plane in Houston.
I’m really thankful for this trip. This trip brought a lot a light in different places in my life. It was a trip that brought my brother and mom in, and it bonded all of us. It sparked more goals for our future…for our family. We were able to walk and run through this trip through their eyes, and really soak in each day that showed itself. We laughed a lot, I mean a lot.
My boys, they will forever have some pretty awesome memories with their Nini. I know how much I loved my lita – she was my world. I’m so thankful they have that with my mom. To see her love for them and their love for her. To watch Ronin’s face light up on rides with my mom, and same for Thurman. That is something no one can ever take away from either of them…from us. Yes, Thurman may never remember this trip, but he has pictures and our stories for life. These photographs and stories will forever be told even after my mom passes (which won’t happen though).
I had so many “this is why” moments, but the moment that truly resonated in me was Disney. I think it’s because it was the trip that most people were kind of “forward” with when it came to sharing their comments with us (me).
But, the moment was whenever we rode our first ride together. Hearing Thurman’s giggle and looking down to witness that little twinkle in his eye and a smile that literally could have wrapped the world a billion times over. It was seeing his eyes open wide when he saw Mickey. It was every single ride we went on, and literally hearing him squeal. It was his tongue sticking out almost every single time he saw himself. It was that cheesy smile during the parade.
Those memories…those are MINE. I will forever be imprinted with those moments. Those moments have forever changed me as a mama. I know, cheesy – whatever forever.
Yeah, Thurman could have stayed with a grandparent while we took Ro on this trip, but I can speak for everyone else on this – we would have not been whole. We would have missed him. I’m sure it’s easier to take the older kid, and I’m not shaming you if you do that – we even thought about it! My thing is, why wait to make memories based on your toddler (or any one else). We just chose to take him because we knew that we wanted ALL of us there. I mean, why not?
Make memories – for both parties. I promise, you won’t ever regret it.